Really Get to Know Your Students

In the first days of school, I need to build a relationship between me and my new students. And I need to do it right away. There is a lot of chatter out there during the month of August about building positive classroom relationships and getting to know students. Sadly, all of this points to ice-breaker games like “2 Truths and a Lie,” various name games, and a host of fill-in-the-blank fact sheets resulting in mingling to find people with similar answers. These are all interesting and fun…as ice-breakers. However, they do not tell me who my students truly are and what I must know before I try to teach them.

Each year, on the second day of school, I do the same thing. I will continue to do it for as long as I teach. Because it works. It does the things that every getting-to-know-you activity and back-to-school PD or article claim to do. And it does so much more than that. What do I do? I write my students a letter. Then, I ask them to write a letter to me in return.

Here is how it works:

In mid-August, I write a letter of introduction to my students. I have been doing this for years, so I open my letter from the prior year or two, and I update it to reflect what is new in my life. In this letter, I tell my students how long I have been teaching and where I have taught. I tell them a little bit about my family. I tell them about my interests, about what I have written, and what I am currently writing. I tell them about my plans for our class, for them, and for our time together. I tell them about how I read and write with them, how I grade writing in pencil, and what I will invite them to do. I tell them what I will not do. Then, I think ahead, and I explain my hopes for what we will accomplish together during the year and how that will feel. My letter is honest and telling and vulnerable.

I sign the letter, and I print it, making a paper copy for each student. This year’s letter was four pages long.

On the second day of school, I distribute this letter. I ask my students to get out something to write with so that they can mark things they would like to ask me about later. Then, I read the letter aloud. Not because my students cannot read it on their own; they can. But, by reading aloud, I get them to hear the language, notice the details, and slow down enough to truly take it in. I can avoid the urge for some to simply skim it and put it away. And then, I open things up for questions. And there are always questions. Most deal with my daughters, my published writing, and where I have lived, especially Germany.

After the Q and A dies down, I distribute directions for the first writing assignment of the year, a “Letter to Mrs. Tisch.” The directions (different for specific grade levels and for those who are new to me and those who are not) delineate each paragraph and what it should contain. I suggest five different paragraphs, and each one focuses on something specific that I would like to know about my students. Again, after reading through these directions, there is time for questions. I promise my students that their letters will remain private. No one else will see it, unless my students decide to show it to someone. And I keep that promise. Of course, there are exceptions, but I always talk to the student before going to a counselor or social worker. I also ask my students to write this letter without assistance. I want to see their writing, as is, without the help of an adult.

After all of this, there are usually a few minutes available to get started on writing.

This year, I assigned the letter on Tuesday, and the due date was Friday. The students had the option of hand-writing their letter or typing it and submitting it to our LMS. I printed the letters submitted to me, and over that weekend, I began learning about my students. Really learning about them. I learned a lot.

The things I find out are incredibly helpful, and they allow me to better work with these children, knowing things I would not have learned otherwise. I find out about things like the following:

· A serious illness in the family

· A change in family – someone moved out, someone moved in

· The knowledge that something is about to change soon

· The need to juggle more than one house

· A new baby in the family

· A new pet

· A diagnosis of something that changes learning

· A worry

· A fear

· A change in friend group

· A new activity or hobby or sport

· A realization about themselves

· Something that was said to them or about them that stings

· Something that did not go well last year

· Something fun and exciting happening soon

· Something they really want to work on

There are so many things I learn through these letters. I cannot mention all of them. I cannot mention any in specific detail, because I have promised not to.

No “getting to know you” activity gives me what this letter assignment gives me. Because it is private, it tends to be real and raw and totally honest. That is, sometimes, jarring. But always, it helps me to get to know these children quickly.

I read these letters carefully, and I comment liberally. Most of my comments are reactions, questions, and thoughts. I mark errors by circling them. Then, when I have finished reading them, I return them temporarily. I take time to have my students read the comments and notice what I have circled. Then, I collect the letters again, and I hold them until the last week of school. In this way, I can reference them from time to time until the end of the year. They are returned to my students permanently on the last day of school.

This assignment doesn’t need to be a first week of school activity. Any time is a good time to really get to know your students. First, craft your own letter. Be honest in it. Then, design the directions so that they tell you what you really want to know. I have attached one of my direction sheets to this article, but change it to make it your own. Then, get ready. You will learn a lot, and it will truly inform your teaching.

On a side note, this letter also gives me information to plan what to do in writing and grammar. This year, I realized a need to work on how to identify titles—titles of books versus titles of stories, movies, or shows. I found a need for work on complete sentences and why dependent clauses cannot stand alone. I also found a need for work with commas. Actually, every year, I find a need for work with commas. Sigh.

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